Legopolis: BREAKING NEWS: Exclusive documents obtained by MinifigJournal’s parent LC1 Media Group shows what appears to be UPBR mobile long-range missile launchers. The documents include both text and images, and were delivered by anonymous members of Brikileaks, a Legoland based anti-secrecy group that actively publishes state secrets. It is unclear if the individuals were acting as representatives of Brikileaks at the time.
The images clearly show two three-axel trucks with large missiles mounted on what appears to be a vertical launch mechanism. A tan and green vehicle armed with what looks like a light cannon can be seen behind the two trucks, and multiple minifigs in tan military style uniforms can be partially seen. As of now, there has been no official confirmation as to the images’ authenticity, LC1’s experts claim that the images were not edited and appear authentic.
Both trucks are carrying an unidentified missile. Based on the size and design of the missile, it appears to be a long-range, if not ballistic, missile capable of delivering a nuclear warhead. It is unclear if the UPBR nuclear program has any warheads available to mount on the mobile weapons.
According to the source, the documents were obtained from emails belonging to UPBR presidential candidate Hillary Cheeseslop. In the emails, an advisor at Cheeseslop’s Cheeseshops, a charity run by Mrs. Cheeseslop, reached out to Mrs. Cheeseslop’s during her time as a senior government official. In the exchange, the advisor notes that a “good friend of ours would like to see what theyre [sic] working on.” Mrs. Cheeseslop’s assistant replied stating that “a visit is out of the question… this is a sensitive subject, and we can’t lose them.” Several days later, a follow up email was sent by Mrs. Cheeseslop’s assistant that included several images of the mobile launchers and text that stated “let’s be sure to thank our friend for his generous contribution.” The friend in question is not specified, but other communications suggest that he could be a non-UPBR minifig.
Federation military spokesfig Lt. Patrick O’Hara seemed unconcerned about the images. “What our loyal minifigs must remember is that the government is looking out for them,” reassured Lt. O’Hara. “It would never allow us to fall behind in the arms race.” When asked if the Federation knew of the mobile launchers beforehand, Lt. O’Hara replied “just remember, Big Brother is always watching, and his gaze certainly extends far beyond our borders.”
Other experts are less convinced of the Federation’s omniscience. Dr. Heinz Ward of the University of Legopolis stated that Lt. O’Hara’s overly cryptic message is further proof that the Federation was caught unaware. “When [the government] issues a statement that conveys no information and obscures the question behind reassuring statements, well, that’s how we know that something is wrong” claimed Dr. Ward. “If the government knew of these weapons, they would have stated ‘yes, these weapons are deadly, but let us show you our counter-weapons.’ Doing so would not only reassure the public, but it would also embarrass the UPBR, one because of the leak and two because the counter-weapons render the mobile platforms obsolete.”
The release of these documents comes as both UPBR presidential candidates condemned the Federation for its recent military drills. In a campaign speech, Donald Technic stated that the drills were “foolish” and concluded by calling the Federation “sad, little losers with tiny hands.” Hillary Cheeseslop also stated that the drills were “dangerous acts by warmongers” and hinted that “bricks will soon be flying if this heats up!” When asked about the emails, Mrs. Cheeseslop laughed and stated “this isn’t what the people are interested in.” It remains unclear if public pressure will lead to additional questions regarding these leaked emails.
The Minifig Journal 