The Morning Report

CCWhat is the Morning Report?

I’m glad you asked. My name is Chuck Charles, the most famous reporter in the entire Federation of Legopolis. Recently LC1 asked me to write a column regarding my views on politics, the economy, and anything else I find interesting. Don’t worry about censorship, the government’s goons can’t seem to find out about the existence of this column.

Vanishing Act

I’ve seen quite a few magic acts in my life, some good and some bad. More recently, I’ve witnessed an absolutely astonishing act. This act is undeniably one of the best ever. How many magicians can make no less than three villages disappear in less than 5 hours while avoiding any international ramifications? But it’s more than just that. When “accidents” occur and soldiers massacre villagers, the international condemnation which risked isolating these magicians from the rest of the world suddenly vanished. And as for the ongoing democracy protests in Shah? Well, just kill communication with the city and suddenly nothing appears to be wrong. Now you see it, now you don’t.

Most figs don’t think the Federation government has some magical powers to solve all their problems, but clearly these figs must be wrong. How else can you explain the sudden disappearance of any condemnation for undeniably brutal war crimes against rebel combatants and civilians in cities throughout the nation? On the rare occasion that anyone bothers to raise a finger and threaten to pressure the government into acting, the government simply makes the problem vanish. Suddenly, there’s nothing left to complain about. Clever, right?

I had the distinct displeasure of witnessing one of these vanishing acts. Last week I was enjoying a brisk winter morning in South Ancarta. My guide and I had just left a village where I spent the night before heading towards to coast. Just as dawn was breaking, a squadron of three Thunderbolts came screaming over the horizon. I’m no friend of violence or war, but there was something majestic about these three angles of death as they flew in nothing short of a perfect formation just before two broke off in flawless coordination leaving the center one as it passed screaming overhead. Seconds later, four consecutive earth shattering fireballs exploded in the village I had just left, the blasts drowning out the screams of the innocent figs left behind. Again and again this episode repeated itself as the other two fighter bombers swooped in for their turn. Long after the bombers had gone, my guide and I remained petrified, stunned at what we had witnessed. There was no point in returning as a ring of fire surrounded the entire village and was threatening the surrounding forest, so we were left with no option other than to flee.

Words are inadequate to describe the pain suffered that day. Besides, at this point the only words worthy of responding to these crimes are denunciatory ones from leaders with enough courage to defend those figs whose voices are silenced over the roaring of flames and the deafening blast from bombs. Please, do not let the magicians in the Federation pull off another vanishing act.


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